Learn from experiences...

"PARENTS NOTICE YOUR FAKE FRIENDS BEFORE YOU DO."

Hello. Today's date is 23rd May, 2017. I'm sitting in a room, typing on my laptop.Its 21:14, dinner time. Its the 4th day I am away from my parents living in a different area in the same city. Its a 45 min drive from my house to here. I am missing them a lot. Missing them not because I don't have my iPod and my virtual "friends" with me, missing them after I listen to Rockabye song by Clean Bandit. The song reminds me of them everytime. Missing them cause I regret now. So why am I typing my sad, little, regretful story? Well, I've been writing blogs about Teenagers and Social Media a lot these days and how teenagers are those unaware people and how parents shouldn't restrict them and feel them and all the crap. But, what about parents? do we, THE TEENAGERS, try and feel our parents? 95% of the teens would answer NO definitely. Me being one of them.

So, the simple logic is, I am going to share one of my experiences and how it changed the good, gullible, and innocent Mahek to a fierce, rebellious and argumentative one. 

(The story starts from "Once upon a time" as usual)

Once upon a time, in 2003, a girl named Mahek was born to a loving and caring family. Fortunate as she was, she was born in a family, where there were no restrictions and no partiality among the genders. She was the first girl child that was born in the joint family of 7 (Mom, Dad, Uncle, Aunt, Grandpa, Grandma, Great-grandma) and now that she was born, it was a family of 8. She was everyone's favorite, From her Masi's to her Nani's to her Dad to her Mom and to everyone. She was just that one little girl her parents and grandparents dreamt of. (Now lets skip on some part) Just after 2 years, Her Aunt gave birth to this mischievous and cute little cousin named Krish. They both played together and had fun. After 3 years, in 2008, Jal, Mahek's first real sibling was born. 4th March 2008. She was over-excited for her new brother. When he arrived, he was as small as my Mama's hand and the most cutest boy I've ever seen.We were the Fourever family now. Dad, being the best superhero and the most amazing person I could crack jokes with. My Mom, being the ultimate multi-tasker. I remember, once my mom asked me randomly, " Who's your idol?" Now, I can confidently say, its YOU. You're my idol. Now, why? Because you're brave, you think quickly and you never lose hope from me. You and Dad are my pillars. Strong ones. If I fall, I know you'll be there. Even though I may behave like an idiot, an immature girl, a brat, a spoiled kid, an argumentative and a rebellious person, even though with all my flaws, you accept me. I know one thing for sure, There's enough love in the world, but the most special one will always be for you two and my naughty brother. Now, coming to my brother, he's the most yikes and at the same time the most adorable person on this planet for me. (Now, lets skip some parts, its getting emotional) 

Now coming to 2014, when I was going in 6th, I shifted to a new school. A better school. Well, I was a normal girl, transferring from state board to Cambridge International Education Board, Also known as CIE. Well, I had to cope up. A lot. (Now lets fast-forward this) I came in. I had to adjust. I made a best friend named Urja. Everything was fine except, me being bullied. Well, no no, that's a strong word. Lets say, me getting teased cause of my height (I am now 5 Foot 7 Inches and I am now proud), cause of my external factors, cause of my English ( oh I sucked at it) and the main reason, cause I was simply being myself and who I was. Well, over here no one is to be blamed. The circumstances I faced was what made me who I am today. And oh, The best part! I had officially joined Instagram, Blog spot, Twitter, Hike, Line, Pinterest and all social medias you can think of in a tender age of 11. Too young. Well I did leave a lot of them in 6th and 7th. but not all. In 7th, I joined Snapchat. Why I joined them? simply cause that's a trend now a days, isn't it? having more followers, more likes, more comments. Now a days people don't get judged on basis of their gender, their social status whether they're rich or poor, they get judged on the basis of their Social Media (With a Capital S and a Capital M) So, I already sucked in a lot of things, I then reassured that at least I could be "known" on social media, you know how any normal person would do. (Now lets skip on some more) On 14/4/2016 I left that "better school" (cause of various reasons).

Now, 2017. I am a different person. Its 23/5/2017 and its 22:32. I have a lot of regrets and a lot of achievements. I have a lot of friends who actually care and a lot of fake, virtual friends too (but not anymore) Technology has stolen us from ourselves. But we're too jaded, too pop-culture drunk to notice. Recently, I had a bet with my friends that I wont open any social media (except for gmail, YouTube and messenger) for a year and a half. I will get over my addiction, and hope it proves into a strong bonding in my REAL family and friends. ( BTW, a must read for this topic - http://amazingmahek.blogspot.in/2017/04/pay-attention.html ) I hope things get better and I gain the trust, love, and care that I've lost while searching it virtually. 

Signing Off, 
Mahek Bajaj
23/05/2017
22:38

PAY ATTENTION.

Pay Attention
What are you looking at?

Screen on, stare, screen off.

Screen on, tap, tap, screen off.

Seconds of "I just want to check my notifications" become minutes of "Just one more tweet," minutes become hours of addiction and hours become bits and pieces of life missed out on. And we cannot get them back.

We are trapped, lost within infinitely-scrolling updates of 'news' that is profoundly unimportant.

The feed is a leash, the dashboard is a cage, and life is everywhere but here.

Technology has stolen us from ourselves but we are too jaded, too pop culture-drunk, to notice.

How long before we realise that the things that should connect us are pushing us apart and robbing us of depth of feeling and the pleasure of each other?

Attention spans have become briefer than the flutter of a butterfly's wings and focus is now defined as the intermission between beeps. We skim, more than we read, chunks of information barely glanced at talk less of assimilated and contemplated.

We pick the instant gratification of an Instagram 'like' over the rest of the moment we are too busy capturing, filtering and posting to be present in.

Here’s a medal for looking up long enough to notice that your date has been there all along, waiting for you to snap out of your Snapchat binge.

We are tolerating the worst of ourselves, these unnatural beings trapped in an artificial world that is a poor substitute for human warmth and physical presence.

Clap for the ones who can 'multitask', juggling analogue dialogue with digital dialogue and a cup of coffee, tasting all but savouring none.

If life is meant to be enjoyed, and I believe it is, we will need to disconnect to find the connections which will bring us joy.

Or Heaven forbid, we will become shells, just forms hiding cavities that echo with the depressing sounds of shallowness, loneliness and an acute lack of fulfillment.

A Inspiring article taken from -

https://medium.com/personal-growth/pay-attention-944ccf6c2f32

Perks of being a teenager in the 21st century

One cold evening,my friends and i go to a shop to buy a drink for the party we'll be attending. I look back to the store manager staring at me and my friends with every step we take.This is nothing new.I walk through the store looking for more items i had to buy, with the man still gazing at me with his eyes blank. I approach the counter, gave $20 and left like any noble citizen would've done. My friends popped the Monster drink can open and started drinking, while i was still in the thoughts. And yet again, this was nothing new. The thoughts keep flowing like a mighty stream not knowing where the path will lead the water. What could have possibly happened in the earlier generations which led to that "man" to think that all teenagers are the same; we steal stuff. again, nothing new. Now I have heard it all,  I know all the stereotypes my generation faces. Apparently, we are rebellious, lazy, egocentric, irresponsible, and totally focused on fashion, socializing and the internet (hehe, especially "social media, the MONSTER"). We spend more time at the mall then at home,  and everyone drives a sports car and drives around with that loud bass sound you can hear for miles. Many of us have our own degree in spray painting and we are rude to the less fortunate. We give in to peer pressure and all want to look and dress alike. We rely on groups of friends and are cruel kids who disrespect authority and make fun of the less popular kids. Despite some of this being true, i still believe the vast majority of teenagers are upstanding and noble citizens.

Being a teenager in today's society is really not like Glee makes it ought to be. But have you ever been in a fight with your girlfriend, running on no sleep because your midterm paper is due and your entire future rides on what kind of mood your teacher is in?  Plus you need money for your car and your fighting with your best friend because frankly, you kinda like drama. Meanwhile this whole time you have an enormous zit on your face? Now thats rough. Being a teenager in a society the generation before us created is hard enough, last thing we need is criticism from the same people who will rely on us to keep them alive one day. Sure, maybe most of the teens of today have their heads to far up in cyber space. Many of us are either on the phone, and if we're not on the phone we are texting or thinking about the phone.  Most of us get a pretty bum rep from the adult and media alike who think our generation is full of a bunch of punks that are constantly up to no good. I don't know so many teenagers who have killed someone, or been arrested for fraud, or even stolen something worth more then a couple bucks. I'm not a bad person because i use LOL as a complete sentence. Granted, some teenagers do commit crimes and steal. But thats not a generation crime labeled on a certain age, that happens regardless of the number of birthdays you have had. All the problems we face as a generation were created by the ones before us. Adults try and explain how the youth of today are being over come by addictions, video games, cell phones, computers and "social media", meanwhile defending the adults who made it that way.

The problems teenagers face are nothing but stepping stones to a life full of disappointments. We all need to realize that the weaker you are as a teenager, the stronger you will be as an adult. We all go through drama, fights, rough times and heavy lapses in our lives that truly reveal our colours and show our true selves to the world right in front of us. At this age there will never be an un-meaningful moment. Because this world is something that is new to us and the problems we face are nothing but an unexplored adventure that eventually will lead into something positive. No matter what we may go through as a teen, time will fix everything and we will be left with the conclusion that this time of your life has no flaws. Everything you do, and everything you go through as a teen is so much greater than the goal at hand. All the drama that seems to bring you down now will one day benefit you when your ready to face the world and realize your true potential. Everyone of us, we're not perfect. But our experiences go very far in a life where only the strong survive. No matter how much you try there will always be somebody thinner, taller, blonder, prettier, tanner, stronger and have more instagram friends. The day you start dying is the day you stop believing you do not offer the world anything good. You were born and original so do not get sucked up in the media fire and die a copy. You learn so much as a teenager some of us do not realize until we are the ones in rocking chairs complaining about the youth. As much as most may not want to admit it, the teenage years are the most important of your life. You spend these years establishing who you are as a person and who you want to be in life so much to the point that these character traits often stick with you for the rest of your life. 

This is for the close minded and the misunderstanding, this is for the store clerk who has a sign that reads " Only 3 Teenagers Allowed in at a time" Listen Close; Teenagers will always smoke. They will always drink, they will always have sex despite knowing nothing about it, and they will always rebel to the things that bother them the most. We are teenagers. We're not broken humans, we are normal everyday citizens trying to cope in the world you made for us. We having a burning desire to be different, but the truth is we are all alike in many ways. I personally rebel against the things that matter to me.I rebel for a lot of things; including my iPod, which matters to me a lot, but restricting your teenagers, will do no good to you neither your teen. Let your teen make his/her own identity in the real world out there; let your teen learn from his/hers own mistake without you restricting them, they're 13 now. they want to create their own identity,they will rebel more, if you get restrictions in between. Let them make their own choices and let them learn from their choices. they wont listen to you, believe me, i know well.  I don't keep my mouth shut, and i'm not a "victim" of authority. I know i'm not the smartest kid out there, as like most teenagers i think i know more then i actually do. But somethings i know for sure. I don't deserve to have the swat team called on me every time i walk into a corner store, a texting plan does not define who i am as a person, and i know i will face bigger problems in life then that of algebra and high school drama.  No matter what you do, there will always be somebody trying to bring you down. Forget that nursery rhythm, words can bring you down. It's up to you to try and rise back more successful then before.  Point is, Being a teenager is hard, so enjoy today, but enjoy tomorrow even more because these days only come once in your life. Don't listen to the opinions of those who are lost in the ignorance of their own words. You are a teenager in the 21st century, it only gets harder from here. Might as well enjoy the ride while it lasts...

A teen from the 21st century,

Mahek,13

The Worsts Things People Say :/

The Worst Things People Say

If you hear any of these, plug your ears and run.

“You’re moving up in the world!”

Really? Moving up from where? To where? Is there a top of the pile? Some magical place where I will be the ultimate human, exalted over all my fellow mortals for my fame and money and good looks?

What makes you think we’re all moving the same direction anyway?

“Be careful”

Ask someone older than 50 to tell you about their childhood. I did this with my grandmother and learned about how:

• She nearly froze to death in Minnesota
• She left her friends and family to go to college hundreds of miles away
• She spent her summers biking around Cape Cod with her best girlfriends
• She met and fell in love with my grandfather at the high school they both wound up teaching at

These are the moments she remembers. Guess what happens if she’d spent her youth “being careful” instead?

“It’s all about content, man.”

I don’t have anything more to say on this except can we please think of some other word to describe all the Internet things which flood our eyeballs every day?

“The rich just get richer”

This is actually true.

BUT

People who say this are ignoring the other side of the story — sometimes, the poor get rich too.

Tyler Perry lived in his car before Madea struck it big and he became a millionaire.

Sara Blakely failed her law school entrance exam, piddled around in stand-up comedy, and sold fax machines door to door before creating and patenting Spanx. Now she’s worth over a billion dollars.

Billion. With a B.

Two more things before we move on to the next point:

• Rich is relative
• It’s also a state of mind, not a dollar amount

“I’m not creative”

60 SECOND DRILL:

Think of a problem you have at your job or school or house.

Now write down 5 possibilities to get rid of that problem.

If you thought of even one possibility, congratulations! You’re creative. Almost.

Creativity has two parts:

• The ability to visualize something which is not currently present
• The ability to bring that vision into reality

You can get better at visualizing solutions. I do it in my Microjournaling practice.

“I’m too old/young for that”

I was naively pursuing a career in journalism when the newspaper industry came crashing down in 2009.

Dozens of people I knew were out of a job. Several guest speakers who came to class all but begged us to stay out of the industry.

Guess who kept their jobs and continued work?

It wasn’t the 26-year old with a bright career who could write well but didn’t have time to figure out Twitter marketing.

It was the 51-year-old who learned to blog, Tweet, shoot photos, write, do video interviews, and figure out how to give readers value across every platform.

The more you learn, the more you learn.

Age has nothing to do with it.

---

Numbers don't really matter..

Numbers Don’t Matter, Influence Does

The importance that people and brands place on follower counts or the impressions their content receives is grossly overvalued. I can’t say numbers don’t matter, but the value everyone places on these numbers needs to be reconsidered. There is just too much emphasis on the width of engagement — how many potential connections they make — rather than the depth of those interactions which, in my eyes, is far more important.

The Number of Impressions You Have Don’t Always Tell The Full Story

The entire marketing world is blinded by the notion that more impressions always correlates to a successful piece of content (the sad part is, most of them don’t care about the business outcomes). For example, you might hear somebody say “500,000 people saw my YouTube pre-roll ad!” But, the truth is that they likely didn’t. What probably happened was that as soon as the ad started, the “viewer” clicked away to another tab or did something else until it was over. Or looked at their phone…. So even though they didn’t pay attention, the analytics still show that they saw it.

Not only can an impression count be misleading, but it may not even reflect a positive consumer engagement. There are companies I will never buy from again because their pop-up ads annoyed me so much — you know, the ones that have hundreds of extra “clickthroughs” because someone accidentally clicked on it 8 times because the “close window” icon was too small. While those extra clicks look like engagement, they were only expressions of frustration with the brand. That context gets lost when we are playing in a world that treats impressions as a be-all, end-all.

Why Your Social Media Follower Count Is Irrelevant

The same misconception can be applied to follower counts: they only matter if the audience actually cares and actively consumes your content. Followers can be absolutely everything or absolutely nothing.

Let’s say you have 20,000 followers on Instagram and 12,000 of them buy ten copies of your book because you posted about it. That type of conversion means you have an engaged audience consuming your content. That’s valuable.

On the other hand, let’s say you have 200,000 purchased fans. When you post something and it gets zero engagement, those followers have zero value because (1) they either don’t care about your content or (2) they’re not real. Either way, your follower count does not represent their real value to you.

Even the thought that a low number of followers can be considered “irrelevant” makes no sense to me. You can have 10, 10,000, or 1,000,000 followers and all it takes is for one post to be noticed by one person to cause a social media chain reaction. The absolute number does not matter. One retweet, one repost, one link in an email is enough to get the ball rolling.

What Matters Most Is The Attention, Not The Numbers

Instead of talking about how many people see your content, we need to be focusing on how much value that piece of content actually brings your audience. For a consumer to get excited about something, to be compelled to click an ad or watch a video, it comes down to caring about your audience’s attention. And in order for you to win, they really need to consume it. That’s the game.

In terms of organic reach, the #1 platform in the world right now is Instagram (even with the new algorithm). If you have 297 followers on Instagram, 150 of them are actually going to consume your posts. On the reverse side, someone with 3,000 followers on Twitter would not command nearly as much attention due to Twitter’s noise problem. For any platform, you need to understand the context of how your followers are consuming. Once you do that, you can reverse engineer how you can go deep to connect with that consumer and how that “impression” translates into actual interest.

For my newest book release, I sent free advance copies to over 1,000 Instagram influencers and asked them to post a substantial long form review with a photo. Not on Amazon, not on Twitter, not on their blog, but Instagram. Why? Because I day trade attention and I understood that this tactic was going to command the most amount of awareness.

Snapchat also has great organic reach right now. It’s the reason why I’ve been so excited for custom Snapchat filters and Story takeovers. When someone is using a filter or watching a Story, they have an intent and you can be sure they’re paying attention. Remember, it’s about depth, not width. It’s not how many you reach, it’s how many you connect with.

Bottom line: I don’t care how many people see something, “I care about how many people see something.” Quality over quantity. Depth over width. Reach does not equal value and follower count doesn’t mean people are listening. We need to stop focusing on optimizing the number of views and instead concentrate on making each one of those viewers care about your brand. Because, at the end of the day, that’s the only way you’ll drive results to your end goal.

This blog is originally taken from- https://medium.com/@garyvee/numbers-dont-matter-influence-does-53aecc56b0bd#.wsgatyq0z

Better Humans,Please?

I read a lot.

I came across the above quote while scrolling on Goodreads one night. I thought it made sense.

It kept playing up somewhere at the back of my brain for long time before I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning and picked up the newspaper.

The headlines screamed about how a politician beat up a horse. The animal’s leg was amputated and while writing this, is fighting for it’s life.

When I switched on the television I saw a liquor baron who had cheated banks of a hefty sum of money.

I turned up my computer and Facebook showed me pictures of swimmers who killed a dolphin while taking selfies.

Twitter showed me how a bombing in a neighbouring country had killed innocent children.

While driving to work, I saw a few school kids annoying the disabled beggar on the sidewalk.

Walking up the stairs in my office building, I heard employees passing judgements on their colleagues.

I went down for a break during lunch and watch helplessly as someone threw cigarette butts on the road.

That evening, I left for home a little early.

Halfway through the drive back, I saw two people trading blows. Road-rage.

At night, when out for dinner with my friends at a fancy restaurant, I was appalled at the way a group treated the restaurant staff.

Being an introvert, I observe people. I listen. I learn from people, good and bad stuff, what to do and what not to do. Perhaps, sometimes observing too many things is an overkill.

---

We are all busy people. Our lives are hectic, filled with stress. We don’t think twice about doing things. We don’t care about someone who might get affected by the things we do.

We have our own struggles, issues and mental blocks.

We are human. We obviously have flaws.

However, if we could take one extra second to think about what we do and empathise with others, we’ll make the world a much better place than it is now.

The choices we make is what makes us human. Makes us distinct.

---

The same morning, when I woke up and read about the horse, the end of the article mentioned a group of vets working day and night, without sleep, to save it’s life.

When I changed the channel on the television, I saw a group of volunteers cleaning up and painting a subway.

I scrolled down my Facebook newsfeed and saw one of my friends had posted about a beautiful dog she had adopted.

Twitter showed me how a lot of countries are taking in refugees and helping out in the crisis.

While driving to work, I saw another kid giving away his lunch to the beggar.

Walking up the stairs to office, I saw my colleague smiling and wishing the security personnel a Good Morning.

At the lunch break, I saw the shop assistant picking up the cigarette butt and putting it into the dustbin.

While leaving for home, I saw the nearby auto drivers pulling apart the men who were fighting and trying to broker peace. Road rage averted.

During dinner, I observed another couple handing a good tip to the waiter and thanking him for the service.

I smiled. I realised how true Gandhi was.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Peace.

{taken from https://medium.com/life-tips/better-humans-please-282e76b1c24b#.9ja1ykeg8}

I'll never delete your number

We buried you with your flip phone so that maybe you could figure out how to use your voicemail in heaven.

From what I can remember, we never really talked on the phone while you were alive. I’d call you every now and then to chat about the weather or something happening in my life. I called you a lot towards the end, although you could barely talk. I did most of the talking.

Our last conversation was only a minute long, but feels like hours now as I remember it. I told you about the soup broth I was making, and how it isn’t as strong as yours. You said I needed to give it more time. You were right, more time is all it needed. We talked about how the weather was nice for February. You complained about the window being open. I asked how you were feeling and you said “not too good, Amber.” I said, “Ok Poppie I’ll let you go, I’ll call you soon.” You said, “Ok,” I said “I love you,” you said “Love you.” You hung up and I went back to making my soup. I cried a little bit after that call.

You passed away a few days later.

Like the broth, I needed more time.

Your number is still in my contact list. I called you last night desperately hoping to leave you a voicemail. It rang once before a voice said “you have reached a non working number.” I don’t know what I expected Poppie.

I’m trying really hard to let the idea of you being here go, but I can’t yet. Seeing your name in my phone is comforting to me. I’ll never delete it.

{this is not my piece, its been taken from https://medium.com/@amberdiscko/i-ll-never-delete-your-number-ba1130d07c1a#.425qlsagm}